Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
