dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
So gin and wine won't be happening again
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
