we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
