Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
i came on her dog
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
be right there i have to get my cape
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Randomize
