I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
