i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
