We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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