they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
