ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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