Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
