Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
