Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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