he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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