I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Randomize
