wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
