mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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