Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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