apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
