I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
