:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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