I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
