At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
You are the jesus of drinking
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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