cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize
