The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
In the future we'll all be gay
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
