If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
