So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
