Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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