Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
