so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
