I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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