The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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