At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Randomize
