found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
time to smoke my breakfast
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
You left your underwear on the fireplace
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
