I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Randomize
