Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i just wanna soil my oats bro
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
