aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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