It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
