haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
