I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Randomize
