I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I'm always down for nudity.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
