i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Plan B is the new Plan A
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
