so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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