the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
