My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
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