Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Send help, water and tortillas.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
