What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
