and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
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