We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
