I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
