I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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